Why Rites?
We are all unconsciously participating in
rites in daily life, whether it is the way
we greet people, or take our coffee, or dress
for different occasions, or vote; it may
vary from person to person but there are
common customs to every human group. Mostly,
these are unexamined and therefore we take
them for granted as if it is a natural way
to behave. Once we compare the customs of
different cultures, these assumptions begin
to seem rather arbitrary.
In Australia people ask "how are you
going?"; in Europe they ask "how are
you?"; but in Thailand they ask "where
are you going?" and in China "have you
eaten yet?"
We consider it rude to burp at a meal, in
some countries it is rude not to.
We glorify romantic love, yet to devout Hindus
an arranged marriage is normal; in an African
tribe, the groom has to prove his prowess
by stealing into his girlfriend's family
compound and carrying her away to the bush
unheard by her parents.
We may assume that romantic love is the only
or best way to find a mate, but this idea
is only a few centuries old: it came from
the medieval French courts, and evolved from
a religious tradition teaching that there is a divinity
that can fulfil all our needs, hence the notion
of a "soul mate" or "The One" - with
the expectation that s/he will be perfectly
satisfying on every level. So once examined,
we find that romantic love comes with some
high ideals!
Part of the significance of ceremony is that
we incorporate traditional rites, or create
new ones, which give the moment symbolic
potency. A wedding is both an personal declaration
of commitment, and a public announcement
before witnesses, and often before the extended
family and community. It creates a lifelong
memory.
Making it work on symbolic as well as practical
levels is essential: this is part of my role
to help you in planning your ceremony.
Click here to contact me back to home
|
